Since most of you has been up to date in terms of reading my blog, you guys all know I went through my ultimate heartbreak with my first ever ex boyfriend two years ago. See link for the whole story. It was painful but I know you’re all familiar on how I moved on through A Christian’s road to recovery article.
I have gone a long way since then, walking closer to God each and every day as I journey through Christianity. I’m well aware that I have developed a frozen heart due to the trauma of my past relationship. People say I locked my heart out but I feel like it’s not just locked, I have built the walls of Jericho around it! hahahaha But I have a feeling that’s about to change. Not now, but soon.
Right now I feel like God is already preparing me for my next season which is why I titled this article “The Transition”. It all started when I went to a Singles retreat called On Higher Ground. As you know, it’s an event for singles and sometimes preachers talk about love and relationship. And every time that topic arise, I cringe! And tell God “Father, can we not talk about this” like a little girl. But during an intimate session with God. His words were very clear. He said “My darling, one day you will love again. Open your heart” And God has been talking non stop about this since then.
I dodge the idea that someday I’ll love again because it makes me terrified. Don’t get me wrong I’m not scared to love again, I’m more scared of investing time, emotions, effort and all the things that comes along with it. During one of my devotions God wanted to talk about it, so I’m like “Ok Father, let’s talk about it.” I said “I’m so happy being single why do I have to go through that again?” I cried hahaha Then, I lifted everything to Him. My worries, my fears, my dilemma, everything!
Philippians 4:7 “God’s peace which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ”
The other day God asked me to pray for someone specific. Today, God brought it up again and talked to me about it. It’s becoming frequent actually. And as a daughter of God, though I’m scared I want to obey. I want to open my heart again. My mind is willing but my heart still doesn’t want to cooperate. Which is why I pray for God to thaw my frozen heart. I may have built the walls of Jericho around it but I’m confident that God will send someone who will break it down for me. Someone who’s so focused on Him that He met me along the way…